29.6.10

humpty dumpty sat on the wall

i feel like an ant, trying to carry the world on my back, but it's getting all tangled up and i keep tripping over it, and all the eggs that i'm not allowed to count just keep cracking into pieces like glass bottles, and there's no use crying over spilt milk when the bottles break, cos you can't put it back in, it's like humpty dumpty, all the men in the king's service couldn't fix him, well, you can't fix me either, cos i'm shattered to bits and i'm lost in a tunnel that i can't see the light at the end of.
it's dark, dark, dark, and i can hear a train coming, i can feel the vibration in the tracks, and there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, i can't get away, it's coming, and i'll be smashed into pieces, squished like an ant on the sidewalk, poor little ant, it's just trying to do what it knows best and then it gets squished by some careless person's foot, stomping around like an enormous elephant.
and here i am, all in pieces just like that, and i'm still trying to carry the world, but it keeps slipping and falling and rolling down the hill, and i have to run all the way back and pick it up and try to drag it all the way up the hill again, like pails of water, but they keep spilling, and so i have to go all the way back to the well to fill them up first, it's way too much effort for this one task, but i can't help it if they decide to run off and make things difficult for me, it's the dish and the spoon all over again, and what do i do?
i'm trying to paint but it keeps going everywhere but on the canvas, my brushes are falling apart, my paint's drying up, my canvas is torn, everything's old and useless here, and i have no reason to keep trying, cos i know humpty's just going to break again, and the ant's just going to get squished again, and i keep tripping over the tangled-up world on my back.

14.6.10

the "i've come to realize" meme

1. I've come to realize that my chest-size - is just right for me (though i sometimes prefer it were bigger :P )

2. I've come to realize that my job - is not the same as my career.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving - i need to make decisions faster.

4. I've come to realize that I need - to think before i speak.

5. I've come to realize that I have lost - some of my child-like wonder.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when - i get interrupted and can't say what i need to say.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk - i will not drive anywhere!

8. I've come to realize that money - is frustrating and annoying.

9. I've come to realize that certain people - will never change.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always - be in charge of my own decisions.

11. I've come to realize that my siblings - are kind of nice sometimes.

12. I've come to realize that my mom - makes the best food in the world!!

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone -  is not as important as i wish it was.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning - i could have made a bunch of better decisions.

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep - i was very very very exhaustedly tired.

16. I've come to realize right now I am thinking - that i hope i won't be in too much trouble later.

17. I've come to realize that my dad - was right about a bunch of stuff.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook - i tend to spend way too much time on there.

19. I've come to realize that today - i got a lot accomplished.

20. I've come to realize that tonight - might not go the way i wish it could.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow - has a lot of potential for good or for bad.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to - get a really truly tat.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost to this is - ... well, i don't know if anyone will "repost this" cos this isn't a facebook note, it's a blog post, so i can't tag anyone.

24. I've come to realize that life - is harder and more complicated now than it was when i was a child.

25. I've come to realize that this weekend - is going to be a lot of not fun.

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset - is We Are The Fallen or Dommin or Demon Hunter or My Chemical Romance or something dark like that. it helps.

27. I've come to realize that my friends - are the best in the world.

28. I've come to realize that this year - is going to be crazy.

29. I've come to realize that my ex(s) -  ... i don't have any!

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should - listen and think before i speak.

31. I've come to realize that I love - my jeff.

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand - why.

33. I've come to realize my past - formed who i am now, but it doesn't have to control me in the future.

34. I've come to realize that parties - with my friends are really fun.

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified - of doing or saying the wrong thing.

36. I've come to realize that my life - could be really really awesome, depending on my choices.

11.6.10

hope

your shadow covers me
your eyes haunt me
take me out of the valley
of darkness and despair

you stand before me
you reach out to me
you offer me hope again
when i have none of my own

your arms are holding me
your smile comforts me
i don't understand
how you can love me so

i am fallen
yet you love me
your arms are open
waiting
i am broken
yet you fix me
your arms are open

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010

4.6.10

safe again

i have nothing left to give
empty and alone
and here i am again
following a distant shape

your arms are far away
i can't get there on my own
come and help me
i'm lost in the wilderness

only you can find me,
only you can bring me home
only you can hold me here, safe again

you call me, you beckon me
i can hear you, so faintly
please hold my hand
because i'm drowning here

only you can find me
only you can bring me home
only you can hold me here, safe again
safe again

your love is
the only thing
that keeps me
alive and breathing
your love is
the only thing
i need

only you can find me
only you can bring me home
only you can hold me here, safe again
safe again

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010