i'm all alone in a happy little basement suite with laminate flooring and pot-lights and a kitchen to myself.

i don't have internet yet, so i'm currently at my parents' house again, using their internet - and when i start classes (THIS WEEK) i can use the internet at the university. so that's alright.

on friday morning i went grocery shopping. i bought a crap ton of meat - a big tub of ground beef, two GIANT steaks (i forget what the cut was, but these things were YUGE), and sixteen chicken thighs - most of it thirty percent off, due to age, i'm assuming. my secret trick: sandwich-size ziploc bags. i cut all the meat into one-person portions, and FROZE ALL THE THINGS.

freezer full of meat for cheap? win.

also, whistling teakettle, and bamboo dishrack, and firefly posters, and slowly emptying boxes, and shelves full of books. these things make me happy.


the trouble with.... a tribble?

so yesterday i went to the PNE for the first time in my life. actually, i did a bunch of firsts yesterday.

the PNE, taken on the whole, was a fun and entertaining novelty experience, but i would have no desire to go multiple times in one year, it would get overwhelming and such.

i also went on a rollercoaster for the first time ever; i went on the wooden one and spent most of it clinging desperately to the bar because i would totally have flown out of my seat otherwise, what with me being so light.

and a ferris wheel, which went surprisingly faster than it looks like it does from the ground, that was fun.

among other entertaining rides. i didn't do any SUPER crazy ones, simply because i really am not an adrenaline junkie, and i just can't handle those ones yet. like the twin flip and the hellevator and similar terrifying things.

but the best part, and the part that made the entry fee totally worth it: the star trek exhibition. where i was not allowed to take photos. :(
they had all kinds of outfits on mannequins in glass cases - they had spock's uniform, and the white robe he wears in "a voyage home", they had one of guinan's outfits, and picard's uniform, and data's, they had both uhura's uniforms, TOS and the new movie, they had neelix's outfit, they had romulan and reman uniforms, they had khan's torn-up outfit, and they had seven of nine's uniform as well. i kind of fangirled all over the place.
never mind the models of alien's heads, and data's head too, and phasers of all kinds, and the PADDs, and the tricorders, and they had a freaking bat'leth too. there were ship models, and a replica of picard's rooms with a section of hallway right in front.
and they also had a couple of photo ops - one on the bridge of the enterprise, TNG era, one on a transporter array, and there was one with a greenscreen but i don't know what they put behind it.
i bought a photo of me on the bridge. i know, i know. but i had to.
i also bought a pin with data's face on it, and a tribble. yes, i HAD TO. what a foolish question.

so yeah. yesterday: success.


what? twice in one week?

so, um, i'm back?
instead of ... erm ... packing ... which i should be doing on account of i want to move on thursday next ...

the other thing i've been doing instead of packing, is pinning useful things on my pinterest board. i totally ripped off disney's family channel, title-wise, and created a board i called Suite Life, to which i'm pinning things that i plan to use once i move into my new suite. i hate The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, by the way - it's inane and not funny at all - but the pun is amusing, so i don't care that i had to steal it from such a rubbishy sitcom.

also, had to hunt down my t4 from tim hortons in chilliwack - they hadn't sent it to me, even though i gave them my address 3 times; my mom and i had to drive down to chilliwack to pick it up, this week! grrr. i needed it to do my tax return (which i should have done in spring, but for the aforementioned lack of t4), which i needed for my student loan for this semester. here's hoping i don't have to wait too long for it, and that it comes in before fees are due at school ...

anyways. thought i'd write something quickly just to get myself back in the habit; now i'm going to go do some more boxing-up things. and then i work at 2pm. no rest for the wicked....


after months of silence...

i know, it's been a while since i ... put finger to keyboard? ... well, blogged, anyway.

some of those months of silence are attributable to school, both university-type and high-school-type, and some are attributable to finding a job (during which i was also doing the high-school-type school). but most of the time, i think, it was the fault of my own laziness that i didn't write anything - but laziness doesn't seem the right word either. sometimes i would think of something i could blog about, but then it seemed awkward coming back as if no empty space had happened in between. and sometimes i would actually sit down to write, and then nothing would come out. but the worst, what happened to me most often, is when i had so much to say that i just couldn't, because as soon as i would start writing or typing or WHATEVER, that it would all come spilling out like one of those cartoon closets, where everything is jampacked up to the ceiling - you just touch one thing and ALL the things come down on you... kind of like that paragraph of brain vomit that totally just happened.

so after all that brainmush, here i am.

big changes: i found a basement suite. all my own. no roommates. so my bedroom at my parents' house is now in a state of boxy upheaval as i try to pack between the hours that i work.
oh yes, and i have a job. timmy ho's again. yeah.
my hair is short, and pink, and later i'll post a picture, maybe. i suspect most of my more regular readership (if there is any of those out there) actually knows me and is friends with me on facebook, but for the ones that aren't, yes, that's what i did to my hair.
changed my diet - and am eating paleo now. the funny looks i get when i say i'm not eating any grains or beans or sugar, are just fantastic, and they make it totally worth it. it can be hard, and hey, i have my cheat days same as anyone else does, but i love paleo. i mean, bacon every day if i want it. how can that be bad?
got a new tattoo, too - but again, old news to the people who are on facebook.

accomplishments: finished math 12 - had to do four units in a week and a half, while i was working, so i was cramming like crazy. not sure i remember most of it, but i got 84.27% at the end of the whole thing -  EXCEPT, when i asked them to fax my mark to the university (so i could use math 12 as a prerequisite for a class), the record the university now has is 86%. so i got a narrow A out of it, which i really shouldn't have, nor do i know how it happened. but i'm not complaining!

i'm also determined that when september arrives and i have time (time? what? work + school + homework + CISSA? time?) and i can get to the gym, i'm starting the workouts outlined in The New Rules of Lifting For Women. weightlifting wins. waaaaay more fun than running.

i'm definitely excited about having my own place again - but i'm also a bit nervous, because it'll actually be my own. no roommate. so i need to get some basics. like cutlery and plates and glasses for the kitchen. at my shared apartment, we used all her dishes for eating off of. all the cooking stuff was mine, but the eating stuff was all hers.
i have to get that and other things, like a broom, and laundry soap, and dish soap, and toilet paper, and a shelving/hanging unit (cos my bedroom doesn't have a closet)... all that and i still don't have my student loan for the next semester...

and that's all i got for now. let's see if i can keep up on this for a while.



i crave quiet
not sullen silence
not the sound of air that rings with anger
and the remembrance of the words last hurled
i crave peace
not whispered jabs
not frozen fury, felt as a chill in the air
or murderous glances directed at anyone nearby

to have quiet and peace
to have calm and rest
sanctuary from strife

not here, not today;
hold out one more moment
be still as a gull on a stone in the sea
watch the waves and feel the breeze
knowing at any moment, to take wing and rise

to have quiet and peace
calm and rest
sanctuary in the storm


cranky day.

today is cranky day.
today, i rebel and i refuse.
today, i don't want to do things the way i know i ought to.

fuck doing something new. fuck taking action. i have a friend who insists that action is greater than inaction. but i'll tell you right now that taking action SUCKS. inaction is easier. inaction means you don't get hurt as quickly.
taking action, well - it hurts sometimes. and you feel like an ass sometimes. and then you wanna sit in a corner with your stash of guilty-pleasure snacks and/or a nice bottle of something and not move til everyone around you has forgotten that you even existed in the first place, never mind forgetting what you did.
and there's no one you can apologise to, because really you're the only one that hurts and you did it to yourself anyhow, and then when you're curled up in the corner you say things to to yourself like, well, i guess i'm just a fucking idiot, why the fuck did i do that, that was so dumb, stupid, stupid, stupid, now don't ever do anything that retarded ever again, no, actually, NEVER do anything again EVER.
and then you feel like crap.
and the next time you throw inaction out the window, and oh, look! it backfired on you AGAIN! well, now you're just all kinds of idiot for not listening to yourself when you said not to do anything again ever. serves you right, dumb-butt, why the hell didn't you listen to your own advice, why the fuck would you do a thing like that when you knew what happened last time.
inaction is so much easier. inaction means you don't impale yourself on a stupid decision and end up bleeding all over the place.
doing something. bah.

maybe tomorrow i'll be back to my normal masochistic impale-myself-on-my-own-decisions self.
today, i don't wanna.



i see thunderclouds scudding by
past the lonely hills, grey and muffled
disappearing over the horizon
driven before the gale like cattle

streaks of ice-cold rain chill the air
soaking into the crevasses of the earth
winter-bare branches reach sky-ward
empty nests perched on the highest limbs

the cold cleaves through skin and muscle
i have no respite from the implacable wind
here yet wander i, restless and uncaring
past silent trees and flood-sated streams.

i see the thunderclouds scudding by
past my lonely head, horizon to horizon
my hair grows wet with rain.
umbrellas are for wimps.