they can't tell.

only the ocean
an ever-changing moment
violent and calm

only the far-off mountains
shadowed and crowned
above the horizon, rooted in the earth

only the cloud-clothed sky
a silver bowl turned up over us
an umbrella that rains inside

if the ocean and the mountains
and the sky they play in
don't see me, how can you?

i'm afraid, i'm terrified
of what i may have done
did i go too far? did i?
speaking out of turn, putting my foot in my mouth

so i hide in my cave in self defense
where the ocean, the mountains, the sky
can't see me and tell you where i am.

this is for you. happy new years'.

i hurt for you. your pain makes me want to cry in sympathy. please don't ever hold back; i'm not afraid to see you angry and upset. i'm not afraid to see you yell or see you cry. i trust you, i believe that you will never hurt me on purpose. so don't hide your shit away in a jar in the top shelf of a dusty storage closet in the basement, bring it out and show me. tell me about it. give me all the gory details about it. because i want to help you, i want to comfort you, i want to watch you deal with your dusty old jar of crap the best you can. it's the least i can do, after showing you all mine. and never forget, i got your back. always.
i wish i could just take all your worries and fears away, but i'm not powerful enough. so i'll try to do what i can.
i won't force you to do something you don't want to do. i won't get mad if you've made other plans. you are worth my trust and respect, and i won't withhold either of them from you. i will always be here to listen. i will do my damnedest to never manipulate you. you are amazing and extraordinary, and i would have to be a million different kinds of stupid to hurt you on purpose.
and i'm on your side. always.