Well. Yesterday was an interesting day.
Last night on my way home from work, my phone decided that the SD card I had had in it for several months was "damaged". When I tried to plug it into my computer, I got a "could not read Superblock" error. Tried all kinds of things, and I think I ended up borking my computer somehow - because gnome now won't load, suddenly. But before I got to that point, I figured I may as well format the SD card, because I wasn't getting that back any time soon - losing me every photo I ever took (luckily all the important ones were on Instagram...) and all the music, so I had to load that back on after, and now I have all my music back. Doesn't save my photos, but that's life...
So back to my poor computer.
Lucky me, a year and a half ago, I decided to make a bootable USB of Ubuntu 12-something, or possibly 11.10, I'm not quite sure which, but it doesn't matter really, the point being that I got my computer to boot off the flash drive - and it happily loads up the hard drive as an external drive, so I can still get to all my files, yay!
BUT, unluckily, the password for the wifi at my house is stored under my regular profile, and I can't access it from the external boot, nor can I get it out of the wifi settings on my phone, it's all hidden and stuff.
BUT, luckily again, I rooted my phone. So I googled (from my phone) on how to access the wifi password file, opened a terminal window on my phone (because I have one of those - finally it comes in handy!) and did this:
$ su
# cat /system/etc/wifi/wpa_supplicant.conf
and scrolled through to find the one I wanted. So now I have the wifi password, so I can access the internet from my poor borked laptop.
Fortunately, without the external boot, I can still log into the command line (it's just gnome that's not working), so I suspect the next thing I will have to do is figure out how to log into the wifi from the command line (shouldn't be too difficult, right?) and run a proper update (did I mention I'm still running Ubuntu 11.04?) on my computer, so it should then overwrite the borked files and still keep all my data. Hopefully.
So all that happened, and then I check facebook from my phone and find that my dear parents got in an accident while they were across the border for their 25th anniversary, and while they're fine, the car is totalled. *sadface*
And then on top of all that, UFV got my first cheque. Because I'm working a co-op, it's technically a 6-credit course, meaning I have to pay for it. I got paid for 7 or so days of work (first cheque, it's always the way of it), so I got 690-something deposited into the bank yesterday morning. All well and good. 40 went straight to my cellphone bill (because I haven't paid that in ... well ... a little while - I just haven't had the money) leaving me with 650-odd. Fine. I went to UFV after work yesterday to register and pay, and found that the cost of the co-op is 629.76. Fuck.
I wish they had some kind of deal such that the employer would take a portion out of each of my paycheques and just send it straight to UFV, thus spreading that 630 over the course of four months, rather than a lump sum directly after the end of the last semester when my money's running thin anyways. Thank God my landlords are gracious and will wait til my next cheque to take rent out, and thank God I have a wonderful friend who's buying me groceries today - but not everyone has that. It's stupid, in my opinion, that they don't have such an arrangement.
Yeah. Life has been interesting.
Also, a quick note pursuant to yesterday's warning of long and different blog posts coming:
apparently 1 & 2 Tim and Titus are very possibly (indeed, very probably) not Pauline epistles. This blew my mind, and makes my argument even stronger. See: http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/goodspeed/ch21.html.
Yes, I will be blogging about the Bible and Stuff and Things... I warned you it would be different.
So that's it for today.
Toodles.
Showing posts with label shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shit. Show all posts
17.5.13
On Roundabouts. [profanity warning]
Dear drivers,
You are all fucking idiots, and you have not got a bloody clue between the lot of you of what roundabouts really mean.
When I'm standing waiting to cross the fucking highway entrance, and you got there before I did, don't sit there at the top of the bloody on-ramp like a dumbass, ESPECIALLY when I'm motioning you on.
Because here's the thing. While you're sitting there, being a goddamn Canadian, three cars are lining up behind you and filling up the roundabout in such a way that no-one else can get into the roundabout. You really think that being polite in that situation will actually help anybody? I can wait; it takes, what? thirty seconds for the roundabout to clear? Your idiocy (under the guise of politeness) is actually more likely to get people hurt, as they pile up behind you.
Yes, I realise, it's not entirely your fault, it's the fault of the rules of the road. In North America, pedestrians come first. In the UK, they don't, and the UK was our wonderful roundabout inspiration. So we have two different rule-sets intersecting, and it makes for not a great system. So I understand that.
But please, for fuck's sake. JUST GO when I'm motioning that you should go. Because I can see the lineup forming behind you, and yelling at me about it won't help an ounce. JUST FUCKING GO. Don't be so stubborn about it.
Much love to you, idiot drivers. Try driving in the UK sometime.
Toodles.
[disclaimer: if you're not an idiot driver, this was not addressed to you specifically. but please treat roundabouts the way they're meant to be treated anyways, idiocy aside.]
You are all fucking idiots, and you have not got a bloody clue between the lot of you of what roundabouts really mean.
When I'm standing waiting to cross the fucking highway entrance, and you got there before I did, don't sit there at the top of the bloody on-ramp like a dumbass, ESPECIALLY when I'm motioning you on.
Because here's the thing. While you're sitting there, being a goddamn Canadian, three cars are lining up behind you and filling up the roundabout in such a way that no-one else can get into the roundabout. You really think that being polite in that situation will actually help anybody? I can wait; it takes, what? thirty seconds for the roundabout to clear? Your idiocy (under the guise of politeness) is actually more likely to get people hurt, as they pile up behind you.
Yes, I realise, it's not entirely your fault, it's the fault of the rules of the road. In North America, pedestrians come first. In the UK, they don't, and the UK was our wonderful roundabout inspiration. So we have two different rule-sets intersecting, and it makes for not a great system. So I understand that.
But please, for fuck's sake. JUST GO when I'm motioning that you should go. Because I can see the lineup forming behind you, and yelling at me about it won't help an ounce. JUST FUCKING GO. Don't be so stubborn about it.
Much love to you, idiot drivers. Try driving in the UK sometime.
Toodles.
[disclaimer: if you're not an idiot driver, this was not addressed to you specifically. but please treat roundabouts the way they're meant to be treated anyways, idiocy aside.]
23.1.12
cranky day.
today is cranky day.
today, i rebel and i refuse.
today, i don't want to do things the way i know i ought to.
fuck doing something new. fuck taking action. i have a friend who insists that action is greater than inaction. but i'll tell you right now that taking action SUCKS. inaction is easier. inaction means you don't get hurt as quickly.
taking action, well - it hurts sometimes. and you feel like an ass sometimes. and then you wanna sit in a corner with your stash of guilty-pleasure snacks and/or a nice bottle of something and not move til everyone around you has forgotten that you even existed in the first place, never mind forgetting what you did.
and there's no one you can apologise to, because really you're the only one that hurts and you did it to yourself anyhow, and then when you're curled up in the corner you say things to to yourself like, well, i guess i'm just a fucking idiot, why the fuck did i do that, that was so dumb, stupid, stupid, stupid, now don't ever do anything that retarded ever again, no, actually, NEVER do anything again EVER.
and then you feel like crap.
and the next time you throw inaction out the window, and oh, look! it backfired on you AGAIN! well, now you're just all kinds of idiot for not listening to yourself when you said not to do anything again ever. serves you right, dumb-butt, why the hell didn't you listen to your own advice, why the fuck would you do a thing like that when you knew what happened last time.
inaction is so much easier. inaction means you don't impale yourself on a stupid decision and end up bleeding all over the place.
doing something. bah.
maybe tomorrow i'll be back to my normal masochistic impale-myself-on-my-own-decisions self.
today, i don't wanna.
today, i rebel and i refuse.
today, i don't want to do things the way i know i ought to.
fuck doing something new. fuck taking action. i have a friend who insists that action is greater than inaction. but i'll tell you right now that taking action SUCKS. inaction is easier. inaction means you don't get hurt as quickly.
taking action, well - it hurts sometimes. and you feel like an ass sometimes. and then you wanna sit in a corner with your stash of guilty-pleasure snacks and/or a nice bottle of something and not move til everyone around you has forgotten that you even existed in the first place, never mind forgetting what you did.
and there's no one you can apologise to, because really you're the only one that hurts and you did it to yourself anyhow, and then when you're curled up in the corner you say things to to yourself like, well, i guess i'm just a fucking idiot, why the fuck did i do that, that was so dumb, stupid, stupid, stupid, now don't ever do anything that retarded ever again, no, actually, NEVER do anything again EVER.
and then you feel like crap.
and the next time you throw inaction out the window, and oh, look! it backfired on you AGAIN! well, now you're just all kinds of idiot for not listening to yourself when you said not to do anything again ever. serves you right, dumb-butt, why the hell didn't you listen to your own advice, why the fuck would you do a thing like that when you knew what happened last time.
inaction is so much easier. inaction means you don't impale yourself on a stupid decision and end up bleeding all over the place.
doing something. bah.
maybe tomorrow i'll be back to my normal masochistic impale-myself-on-my-own-decisions self.
today, i don't wanna.
13.12.11
shards on the tile, shards of my mind
is the glass half empty, or is it half full? because i find my glass has shattered on the tile, and i can see myself reflected in every tiny piece. here lies my eye, here my lip. here an ear and there an arm. no piece reflecting all, but each taking some small portion and throwing it back disconnected from the whole. do i mend it? or do i discard it? is it even worth thinking about, or should i just walk away and leave the shards lying where they fell, reflecting pieces of what they see? if i step forward or if i step back, my blood smears the tiles as the broken glass mercilessly jabs my feet; but if i stand unmoving, my reflection mocks me without remorse, all the tiny pieces jumbled together into a crude representation, not truly myself.
outside i see the trees. all the leaves are gone, vanished into some cruel fancy of the wind, or clustered on the ground in pathetic heaps. the sky hints of snow. the air is icy, and i shiver at the thought of going out.
if i had my way, i would isolate myself from everything and everyone, to go hide in some dark secluded hole, where no-one can find me. i would have no reminders of things left undone, of words left unsaid, of changes left unmade. i would see no shadows of things i could have done, should have done, ought to have done differently. and for once the snide and ruthless audience that resides in my head, and lives to tell me what i did wrong, will have silence instead of critiques. oh, to hear a void in my mind, rather than the opera-house full of mockery and ridicule, that would be glorious indeed.
my eyes sting with half-conceived tears, and a dull ache has settled in my heart. my emotions have tied themselves in a knot in the middle of my chest and will not come undone, no matter how or which way i tug, and the end will not show itself.
so is the glass half empty? or is it half full? or perhaps it is shattered.
outside i see the trees. all the leaves are gone, vanished into some cruel fancy of the wind, or clustered on the ground in pathetic heaps. the sky hints of snow. the air is icy, and i shiver at the thought of going out.
if i had my way, i would isolate myself from everything and everyone, to go hide in some dark secluded hole, where no-one can find me. i would have no reminders of things left undone, of words left unsaid, of changes left unmade. i would see no shadows of things i could have done, should have done, ought to have done differently. and for once the snide and ruthless audience that resides in my head, and lives to tell me what i did wrong, will have silence instead of critiques. oh, to hear a void in my mind, rather than the opera-house full of mockery and ridicule, that would be glorious indeed.
my eyes sting with half-conceived tears, and a dull ache has settled in my heart. my emotions have tied themselves in a knot in the middle of my chest and will not come undone, no matter how or which way i tug, and the end will not show itself.
so is the glass half empty? or is it half full? or perhaps it is shattered.
8.12.11
A riddle.
One if the riddles of my existence is the fact that I judge other people based on my own judgments of myself.
Sometimes when I'm with a friend, and I'm having fun, I would be perfectly happy to hang out with them all day. But when I think about how they are feeling, I assume that they are totally sick of being around me, that they want me to leave them alone, and that I am being a total nuisance.
I then spiral into a black and self-hating hole, where I assume that since my friend, as I assumed, doesn't want me around, then I am a horrible person, and therefore the world hates me and therefore I should also hate me, and if the world hates me, then my friend does too, and therefore I am an even worse person for inflicting myself on them, so then I hate myself even more.
And this happens even when I know the person really well.
I try not to let myself go into that sad little spiral, but sometimes, no matter how careful I am, I still slip up and fall in.
It's not fun.
21.11.11
what i have learned.
you failed
the cry rang out across the hills
the world screamed out the words
you failed
and still my heart pounds louder than a drum
my ears have strained to hear
you failed
reverberates again
another shout, just those two words
you failed
no promise of later gain
no oath or pledge that i will pass the test
you failed
and a small quiet whisper in the back of my mind
insists to me
you failed, well done
you gave it your all
i asked no more,
you heeded the call
you failed
and i'm proud
now do it again.
the cry rang out across the hills
the world screamed out the words
you failed
and still my heart pounds louder than a drum
my ears have strained to hear
you failed
reverberates again
another shout, just those two words
you failed
no promise of later gain
no oath or pledge that i will pass the test
you failed
and a small quiet whisper in the back of my mind
insists to me
you failed, well done
you gave it your all
i asked no more,
you heeded the call
you failed
and i'm proud
now do it again.
9.8.11
ten cent lies
when all is said and done
which is more important,
what is said?
or what is done?
all the words in the world
can't cover up an action
and words are so cheap
what price can you put on a yes
or a no?
a lie is easy
and practically worthless
ten cents each on a street corner
even honesty can be a lie
when it is belied
by action
and when you say what you mean
is that really who you are?
or is it what you do
that tells the world
what kind of person you are inside?
ten cents for a lie -
how much do you want for the truth?
which is more important,
what is said?
or what is done?
all the words in the world
can't cover up an action
and words are so cheap
what price can you put on a yes
or a no?
a lie is easy
and practically worthless
ten cents each on a street corner
even honesty can be a lie
when it is belied
by action
and when you say what you mean
is that really who you are?
or is it what you do
that tells the world
what kind of person you are inside?
ten cents for a lie -
how much do you want for the truth?
29.1.11
i am Elizabeth.
this is not right
i'm not you -
nor are you me.
so why are you taking
my identity?
you're putting my name
to your face
and mirroring me,
commandeering my space
copying, aping,
stealing, invading
my life is not yours
so what do you see
that's missing in your life
that you'd take from me?
i am Elizabeth
that's not your name
i know who you are
and we're not the same.
© Elizabeth Klassen 2011
i'm not you -
nor are you me.
so why are you taking
my identity?
you're putting my name
to your face
and mirroring me,
commandeering my space
copying, aping,
stealing, invading
my life is not yours
so what do you see
that's missing in your life
that you'd take from me?
i am Elizabeth
that's not your name
i know who you are
and we're not the same.
© Elizabeth Klassen 2011
19.11.10
i'm not you.
you can't see me
you can't hear me
hiding behind your normalcy
you don't look for me
you don't care about me
scared that i might give you honesty
you can ask me why
don't be shy
i'll give it to you straight
if that bugs you
i won't pity you
i got other things on my plate.
and honestly
i'm happier
without your petty bitching
so shut your face
don't slander me
your life's not mine, and i'm not you.
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
you can't hear me
hiding behind your normalcy
you don't look for me
you don't care about me
scared that i might give you honesty
you can ask me why
don't be shy
i'll give it to you straight
if that bugs you
i won't pity you
i got other things on my plate.
and honestly
i'm happier
without your petty bitching
so shut your face
don't slander me
your life's not mine, and i'm not you.
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
9.11.10
nothing.
what is this?
it's a noose for your own neck.
what is it made of?
it is woven from choices you've made.
why?
because mistakes are never forgotten.
what did i do to deserve this?
nothing.
what is this?
it's a deadly poison, tailored just for you.
what is it made of?
the bitterness and anger of others towards you.
why?
because mistakes are never forgotten.
what did i do to deserve this?
nothing.
what is this?
it's your death.
what is it made of?
fear, anger, and hopelessness.
why?
because your pain is never forgotten.
what did i do to deserve this?
nothing.
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
it's a noose for your own neck.
what is it made of?
it is woven from choices you've made.
why?
because mistakes are never forgotten.
what did i do to deserve this?
nothing.
what is this?
it's a deadly poison, tailored just for you.
what is it made of?
the bitterness and anger of others towards you.
why?
because mistakes are never forgotten.
what did i do to deserve this?
nothing.
what is this?
it's your death.
what is it made of?
fear, anger, and hopelessness.
why?
because your pain is never forgotten.
what did i do to deserve this?
nothing.
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
16.8.10
i want to go back to bed now.
so it's been a while since i last posted any real kind of update.
i'll start with the easy stuff -
my grandma got married on saturday, it was a sweet little wedding/reception/thing, and now she's off to the USofA for her honeymoon.
which leads into the next thing:
everything of mine is going back in boxes! that's right, i'm moving again, but i'm staying in the wack. i just got a job at Tim Horton's on friday and it's two minutes from where i will be living, so that's perfect.
less easy -
it's caused a bit of agitation and disquiet in certain quarters, but i'm purchasing a microKORG for use in our band. no, the quarters are not in the band. and if the quarters read this: no, i haven't changed my mind, and i'm not going to. it costs less than my DSLR did. so chill.
even less easy -
psalm 91 band had to say goodbye to two of our members. our bass player and our backup vocalist have decided to move on. blessings to you, chris and nicci, we all love you very much.
on the upside, jeremy has rejoined the band on bass; he was the original bassist from the cd and knows all the songs. had a couple of practices last week with him and it went so easily, and we all get along really well together - me, rich, jeff, leanne, and jeremy. it's pretty awesome.
so there it is, and here i am, and life goes on.
♥
i'll start with the easy stuff -
my grandma got married on saturday, it was a sweet little wedding/reception/thing, and now she's off to the USofA for her honeymoon.
which leads into the next thing:
everything of mine is going back in boxes! that's right, i'm moving again, but i'm staying in the wack. i just got a job at Tim Horton's on friday and it's two minutes from where i will be living, so that's perfect.
less easy -
it's caused a bit of agitation and disquiet in certain quarters, but i'm purchasing a microKORG for use in our band. no, the quarters are not in the band. and if the quarters read this: no, i haven't changed my mind, and i'm not going to. it costs less than my DSLR did. so chill.
even less easy -
psalm 91 band had to say goodbye to two of our members. our bass player and our backup vocalist have decided to move on. blessings to you, chris and nicci, we all love you very much.
on the upside, jeremy has rejoined the band on bass; he was the original bassist from the cd and knows all the songs. had a couple of practices last week with him and it went so easily, and we all get along really well together - me, rich, jeff, leanne, and jeremy. it's pretty awesome.
so there it is, and here i am, and life goes on.
♥
13.8.10
And you have a privacy policy why?
To whom it may concern:
I have a serious complaint to make.
Recently I began receiving newsletters from your company. To my knowledge, I have never signed up for your website or your newsletters, and nor did I ever want to. The only reason that comes to mind that could possibly explain why I inexplicably began receiving what I can only think of as SPAM would be that about two months ago I dropped off a resume at a Bluenotes location in the Cottonwood Mall in Chilliwack, BC, where I live.
In my mind, dropping off a resume is merely an application for work, NOT a request to have my address (whether email or physical) given out for gratuitous and uninvited mailings. I feel highly displeased that my information would be abused in such a manner, and as a result, I will no longer be shopping at any Bluenotes locations.
Please remove my email address from your mailing list immediately.
Thank you.
I have a serious complaint to make.
Recently I began receiving newsletters from your company. To my knowledge, I have never signed up for your website or your newsletters, and nor did I ever want to. The only reason that comes to mind that could possibly explain why I inexplicably began receiving what I can only think of as SPAM would be that about two months ago I dropped off a resume at a Bluenotes location in the Cottonwood Mall in Chilliwack, BC, where I live.
In my mind, dropping off a resume is merely an application for work, NOT a request to have my address (whether email or physical) given out for gratuitous and uninvited mailings. I feel highly displeased that my information would be abused in such a manner, and as a result, I will no longer be shopping at any Bluenotes locations.
Please remove my email address from your mailing list immediately.
Thank you.
21.7.10
here i am.
so here i am,
i'm completely lost
and totally confused.
you're shadow-boxing
and fighting with ghosts
and it does no good
it solves nothing.
i want to comfort you
i want to help you
but i don't know how.
all i know is
i don't see the real you yet.
i see the layers
that you cover yourself with.
i can't fix you
for you.
that's not my job.
all i can do
is stand here
waiting for you
to be ready to be real.
so here i am.
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
i'm completely lost
and totally confused.
you're shadow-boxing
and fighting with ghosts
and it does no good
it solves nothing.
i want to comfort you
i want to help you
but i don't know how.
all i know is
i don't see the real you yet.
i see the layers
that you cover yourself with.
i can't fix you
for you.
that's not my job.
all i can do
is stand here
waiting for you
to be ready to be real.
so here i am.
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
29.6.10
humpty dumpty sat on the wall
i feel like an ant, trying to carry the world on my back, but it's getting all tangled up and i keep tripping over it, and all the eggs that i'm not allowed to count just keep cracking into pieces like glass bottles, and there's no use crying over spilt milk when the bottles break, cos you can't put it back in, it's like humpty dumpty, all the men in the king's service couldn't fix him, well, you can't fix me either, cos i'm shattered to bits and i'm lost in a tunnel that i can't see the light at the end of.
it's dark, dark, dark, and i can hear a train coming, i can feel the vibration in the tracks, and there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, i can't get away, it's coming, and i'll be smashed into pieces, squished like an ant on the sidewalk, poor little ant, it's just trying to do what it knows best and then it gets squished by some careless person's foot, stomping around like an enormous elephant.
and here i am, all in pieces just like that, and i'm still trying to carry the world, but it keeps slipping and falling and rolling down the hill, and i have to run all the way back and pick it up and try to drag it all the way up the hill again, like pails of water, but they keep spilling, and so i have to go all the way back to the well to fill them up first, it's way too much effort for this one task, but i can't help it if they decide to run off and make things difficult for me, it's the dish and the spoon all over again, and what do i do?
i'm trying to paint but it keeps going everywhere but on the canvas, my brushes are falling apart, my paint's drying up, my canvas is torn, everything's old and useless here, and i have no reason to keep trying, cos i know humpty's just going to break again, and the ant's just going to get squished again, and i keep tripping over the tangled-up world on my back.
it's dark, dark, dark, and i can hear a train coming, i can feel the vibration in the tracks, and there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, i can't get away, it's coming, and i'll be smashed into pieces, squished like an ant on the sidewalk, poor little ant, it's just trying to do what it knows best and then it gets squished by some careless person's foot, stomping around like an enormous elephant.
and here i am, all in pieces just like that, and i'm still trying to carry the world, but it keeps slipping and falling and rolling down the hill, and i have to run all the way back and pick it up and try to drag it all the way up the hill again, like pails of water, but they keep spilling, and so i have to go all the way back to the well to fill them up first, it's way too much effort for this one task, but i can't help it if they decide to run off and make things difficult for me, it's the dish and the spoon all over again, and what do i do?
i'm trying to paint but it keeps going everywhere but on the canvas, my brushes are falling apart, my paint's drying up, my canvas is torn, everything's old and useless here, and i have no reason to keep trying, cos i know humpty's just going to break again, and the ant's just going to get squished again, and i keep tripping over the tangled-up world on my back.
11.6.10
hope
your shadow covers me
your eyes haunt me
take me out of the valley
of darkness and despair
you stand before me
you reach out to me
you offer me hope again
when i have none of my own
your arms are holding me
your smile comforts me
i don't understand
how you can love me so
i am fallen
yet you love me
your arms are open
waiting
i am broken
yet you fix me
your arms are open
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
your eyes haunt me
take me out of the valley
of darkness and despair
you stand before me
you reach out to me
you offer me hope again
when i have none of my own
your arms are holding me
your smile comforts me
i don't understand
how you can love me so
i am fallen
yet you love me
your arms are open
waiting
i am broken
yet you fix me
your arms are open
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
16.5.10
2.5.10
one plus one
how do you quantify meaning?
how do you measure a word?
how do you explain the sum of what you say
plus what you mean?
and why is there a difference?
there are only words and more words.
so then how can you say what you mean,
when every word means something different
to another person?
blue means blue, but it may not mean the same shade
to you
as it does to me.
more so with abstract thoughts
like love
and death
anger, shame, greed
fear and frustration
yours and mine
black and white blur to grey
nothing's solid where words are involved
and "you" and "i" are not twins
only cousins
and the endless horizon goes right round the earth
til it ends where you're standing.
when does black stay black, and white stay white?
where is the line between one word and another?
it's a line in the sand, blurry at best,
and it blows away at the lightest breath of air.
how do you quantify meaning?
there is no rule.
no hard and fast one-plus-one makes two
and so the line gets blurred
and i get confused
i see a mud puddle
where another sees a crystal
and vice versa.
so then how can you say what you mean,
when every word means something different
to another person?
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
how do you measure a word?
how do you explain the sum of what you say
plus what you mean?
and why is there a difference?
there are only words and more words.
so then how can you say what you mean,
when every word means something different
to another person?
blue means blue, but it may not mean the same shade
to you
as it does to me.
more so with abstract thoughts
like love
and death
anger, shame, greed
fear and frustration
yours and mine
black and white blur to grey
nothing's solid where words are involved
and "you" and "i" are not twins
only cousins
and the endless horizon goes right round the earth
til it ends where you're standing.
when does black stay black, and white stay white?
where is the line between one word and another?
it's a line in the sand, blurry at best,
and it blows away at the lightest breath of air.
how do you quantify meaning?
there is no rule.
no hard and fast one-plus-one makes two
and so the line gets blurred
and i get confused
i see a mud puddle
where another sees a crystal
and vice versa.
so then how can you say what you mean,
when every word means something different
to another person?
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
30.4.10
clinging
so lost.
so helpless and confused.
swimming through an ocean
of unfamiliar territory.
ashamed.
betrayed and cut open.
all my faults and fears
are violently exposed.
in pain.
sick with these regrets.
playing this game called life
and i'm losing it.
so i cling
to the one who knows me best
to the one who's always here
the rock that holds me safe
i cling, and i pray that you'll be there
that you'll catch me if i fall
that your arms will hold me.
i'm hurt.
uncared-for and neglected.
injured by the words they said
i was left here to bleed.
so scared.
afraid of what might come
i'm wandering alone here
among these dark shadows.
so i cling
to the one who knows me best
to the one who's always here
the rock that holds me safe
i cling, and i pray that you'll be there
that you'll catch me if i fall
that your arms will hold me.
so here i stand
i'm broken and in pain
please cover my shame
heal my pain
keep me near you,
don't ever let me go,
never let me go
and i cling
to the one who knows me best
to the one who's always here
the rock that holds me safe
i cling, and i know that you'll be there
that you'll catch me if i fall
that your arms will hold me.
oh, hold me
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
so helpless and confused.
swimming through an ocean
of unfamiliar territory.
ashamed.
betrayed and cut open.
all my faults and fears
are violently exposed.
in pain.
sick with these regrets.
playing this game called life
and i'm losing it.
so i cling
to the one who knows me best
to the one who's always here
the rock that holds me safe
i cling, and i pray that you'll be there
that you'll catch me if i fall
that your arms will hold me.
i'm hurt.
uncared-for and neglected.
injured by the words they said
i was left here to bleed.
so scared.
afraid of what might come
i'm wandering alone here
among these dark shadows.
so i cling
to the one who knows me best
to the one who's always here
the rock that holds me safe
i cling, and i pray that you'll be there
that you'll catch me if i fall
that your arms will hold me.
so here i stand
i'm broken and in pain
please cover my shame
heal my pain
keep me near you,
don't ever let me go,
never let me go
and i cling
to the one who knows me best
to the one who's always here
the rock that holds me safe
i cling, and i know that you'll be there
that you'll catch me if i fall
that your arms will hold me.
oh, hold me
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
24.4.10
roads
i seem to be caught
a fork in the road
there's two ways out -
which to choose? left or right?
on one hand
and on the other
i know where i want to be
but how do i get there?
if i choose that road or if i choose this,
which one's the right way? i can't see past this mist
i'm so lost, so lost and afraid
i can't see
it's like i'm all alone here
with no map to help me
but i have to decide
and there's no turning back.
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
a fork in the road
there's two ways out -
which to choose? left or right?
on one hand
and on the other
i know where i want to be
but how do i get there?
if i choose that road or if i choose this,
which one's the right way? i can't see past this mist
i'm so lost, so lost and afraid
i can't see
it's like i'm all alone here
with no map to help me
but i have to decide
and there's no turning back.
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
3.4.10
not a crisis
you blink once, twice, and find
that life has changed again
what you once thought was safe, familiar
is a blank spot on your map.
you turned around and got surprised
it's not what you expected it to be
a mountain got up and moved overnight
what's your knowledge worth now?
let go of what you thought you knew,
take a deep breath, don't be afraid
it's a new experience, it's not a crisis
take the adventure that's here
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
that life has changed again
what you once thought was safe, familiar
is a blank spot on your map.
you turned around and got surprised
it's not what you expected it to be
a mountain got up and moved overnight
what's your knowledge worth now?
let go of what you thought you knew,
take a deep breath, don't be afraid
it's a new experience, it's not a crisis
take the adventure that's here
© Elizabeth Klassen 2010
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