Bard

I'm not satisfied
Just to converse with you,
It's not enough.

Your eyes meet mine
I like your eyes,
They crinkle in the corners when you smile

Your stories keep me entranced
Far-off places and wild things
I want to go adventuring

You stand there
You're like a stranger -
So much I don't know
Yet you are a kindred spirit;
I've known you for ever.

You stand there
Telling wild tales, all true
Bard, I want to call you, singer and wanderer
Poet and traveller
Truth-seeker

You make me want to vanish in the mists
Hunting deer, catching fish,
Singing in the silence

I'm not satisfied
Just to converse with you
It's not enough -

I want to wander, climb a mountain,
Seek the sunrise.

I just wish you would come with me.

Finally finished: I Saw The Mountains Reappear, Fog-Kiss'd.

I started this Shakespearean sonnet in November 2011, and left it saved as a draft for quite a while. Thought I'd pull it out and finish it off. I almost declared it finished at ten lines after some effort this morning, and then realised that I needed another four! In my own opinion, it's not too bad for someone who doesn't usually write in form....

I saw the mountains reappear, fog-kiss'd,
As all your vast and undulating hills
Are ransomed by the rising sun from mist.
So let the dark eternal night that fills
The sky, and hosts the moon's alluring rest,
Now bid a fond farewell to waking Earth,
Who turns to warm herself at Sun's sweet breast
And slowly, in this dawn, a new rebirth;
Triumphal golden halos, touch of light,
Surrounding all with gentle flame anew,
Exalt the young and dewy Morning bright:
A princess, cloud-throned, in a sky of blue.
No longer let Earth rest in night enstarred,
Awaken all, and, with Earth, sleep discard.

cravings

i crave quiet
not sullen silence
not the sound of air that rings with anger
and the remembrance of the words last hurled
i crave peace
not whispered jabs
not frozen fury, felt as a chill in the air
or murderous glances directed at anyone nearby

to have quiet and peace
to have calm and rest
sanctuary from strife

not here, not today;
hold out one more moment
be still as a gull on a stone in the sea
watch the waves and feel the breeze
knowing at any moment, to take wing and rise

to have quiet and peace
calm and rest
sanctuary in the storm

umbrellas

i see thunderclouds scudding by
past the lonely hills, grey and muffled
disappearing over the horizon
driven before the gale like cattle

streaks of ice-cold rain chill the air
soaking into the crevasses of the earth
winter-bare branches reach sky-ward
empty nests perched on the highest limbs

the cold cleaves through skin and muscle
i have no respite from the implacable wind
here yet wander i, restless and uncaring
past silent trees and flood-sated streams.

i see the thunderclouds scudding by
past my lonely head, horizon to horizon
my hair grows wet with rain.
umbrellas are for wimps.

what i have learned.

you failed
the cry rang out across the hills
the world screamed out the words
you failed
and still my heart pounds louder than a drum
my ears have strained to hear
you failed
reverberates again
another shout, just those two words
you failed
no promise of later gain
no oath or pledge that i will pass the test
you failed

and a small quiet whisper in the back of my mind
insists to me
you failed, well done
you gave it your all
i asked no more,
you heeded the call
you failed
and i'm proud

now do it again.

it's a sea

oceans of words
ebb and flow with the tide
of emotions in my soul

many words are not enough
and a single word too much
to articulate my meaning

i want to say more
i'm afraid to say more
waves of words bowl me over

and you are the cliff
against which my oceans crash
but i don't want to overwhelm you

please don't crumble or give way
just because of me
even if i want you to

because the oceans are fierce
rioting waves and flat calms
unceasing change

oceans of words
ebbing and flowing
look out before you jump in

ten cent lies

when all is said and done
which is more important,
what is said?
or what is done?

all the words in the world
can't cover up an action

and words are so cheap
what price can you put on a yes
or a no?
a lie is easy
and practically worthless
ten cents each on a street corner

even honesty can be a lie
when it is belied
by action

and when you say what you mean
is that really who you are?
or is it what you do
that tells the world
what kind of person you are inside?

ten cents for a lie -
how much do you want for the truth?

day 12- write a poem to someone you love

i know you miss me
and i want to let you know i still love you,
and that i never stopped - 
but you know that,
don't you?

some songs on the radio
make me think of you and chuckle to myself
"... do i really feel the way i feel?"
and i know you'd chuckle too

so many memories
holding hands, walking down a road
lots of adventures, just you and me
both recent and long ago
and so many songs sung together

i'm looking forward to many more years
and many more adventures
clever plans and silly songs
visits and movies and inside jokes
i'm so glad i get to share them with you

and you know i'll always love you
you'll always have a special place in my heart
cos i'll always be your daughter
and you'll always be my dad.

i am Elizabeth.

this is not right
i'm not you -
nor are you me.
so why are you taking
my identity?

you're putting my name
to your face
and mirroring me,
commandeering my space
copying, aping,
stealing, invading

my life is not yours
so what do you see
that's missing in your life
that you'd take from me?

i am Elizabeth
that's not your name
i know who you are
and we're not the same.

© Elizabeth Klassen 2011

darn.

my white shoelaces
are coming untied
the sock i knit
is unravelling
all the holes in the world
are descending upon my creations
i defined myself
with words that have become blank spaces
in the dictionary

every turn of the earth
carries with it one more mess
one more tangle
to sort out
a knot in a thread
i stitched a patch on my heart
and watched it fray

this bandaid will not hold
does not stick any more
i carried you too long
to let you keep firing
your silver-plated bullets into me

prove to me
that the holes i see in your socks
will not keep wearing through
because i refuse to darn them

nor will i patch
the holes in the knees of your jeans
and the elbows of your sweaters

this is why
when i make things
i try to make them last
so that i don't have to mend them after
because the mending
takes longer
and hurts more

© Elizabeth Klassen 2011

thousand tears

it'll be one long night before the day is over;
one sad sad song, and a lonely road.
forever was too good for you, and so we'll say goodbye;
i've cried a thousand tears for you, no more.

these untread paths have followed me, unsung songs, your memory
i leave it all behind now, choose no regrets
take your fallen branches, light a fire and keep warm -
i'll not be your matchbook.

i'm surrounded by silence now, but one of solitude
and your fear has proven true, you're lonely once again,
holding heroes to the light like trophies, glinting gold
i was never your prize.

the tree fell in the forest - i watched and wept,
a burning red-orange sun sank into the west.
forever was too good for you, so we said goodbye;
i cried a thousand tears for you, no more.

© Elizabeth Klassen, 2011

somehow

i promised myself i wouldn't
i did my damnedest
but somehow
somewhy
i cried anyways

it's been so so long
i lost track of the days
but somewhere
in there
i still miss you

i try my hardest not to
i do my best not to care
but sometimes
sometimes
i still think of you

and when i saw you
after so long
somehow
somewhy
i cried anyways.

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010

i'm not you.

you can't see me
you can't hear me
hiding behind your normalcy
you don't look for me
you don't care about me
scared that i might give you honesty

you can ask me why
don't be shy
i'll give it to you straight
if that bugs you
i won't pity you
i got other things on my plate.

and honestly
i'm happier
without your petty bitching
so shut your face
don't slander me
your life's not mine, and i'm not you.

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010

nothing.

what is this?
it's a noose for your own neck.
what is it made of?
it is woven from choices you've made.
why?
because mistakes are never forgotten.
what did i do to deserve this?
nothing.

what is this?
it's a deadly poison, tailored just for you.
what is it made of?
the bitterness and anger of others towards you.
why?
because mistakes are never forgotten.
what did i do to deserve this?
nothing.

what is this?
it's your death.
what is it made of?
fear, anger, and hopelessness.
why?
because your pain is never forgotten.
what did i do to deserve this?
nothing.

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010

here i am.

so here i am,
i'm completely lost
and totally confused.
you're shadow-boxing
and fighting with ghosts
and it does no good
it solves nothing.

i want to comfort you
i want to help you
but i don't know how.
all i know is
i don't see the real you yet.
i see the layers
that you cover yourself with.

i can't fix you
for you.
that's not my job.

all i can do
is stand here
waiting for you
to be ready to be real.
so here i am.

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010

lucky.

your breath is warm on my neck
as i shiver in the cold;
your hands are warm on my skin

i drink you in with my eyes
studying every pore in detail
i think you're incomparably wonderful

how am i so lucky?

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010

hope

your shadow covers me
your eyes haunt me
take me out of the valley
of darkness and despair

you stand before me
you reach out to me
you offer me hope again
when i have none of my own

your arms are holding me
your smile comforts me
i don't understand
how you can love me so

i am fallen
yet you love me
your arms are open
waiting
i am broken
yet you fix me
your arms are open

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010

safe again

i have nothing left to give
empty and alone
and here i am again
following a distant shape

your arms are far away
i can't get there on my own
come and help me
i'm lost in the wilderness

only you can find me,
only you can bring me home
only you can hold me here, safe again

you call me, you beckon me
i can hear you, so faintly
please hold my hand
because i'm drowning here

only you can find me
only you can bring me home
only you can hold me here, safe again
safe again

your love is
the only thing
that keeps me
alive and breathing
your love is
the only thing
i need

only you can find me
only you can bring me home
only you can hold me here, safe again
safe again

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010

one plus one

how do you quantify meaning?
how do you measure a word?
how do you explain the sum of what you say
plus what you mean?
and why is there a difference?
there are only words and more words.
so then how can you say what you mean,
when every word means something different
to another person?

blue means blue, but it may not mean the same shade
to you
as it does to me.
more so with abstract thoughts
like love
and death
anger, shame, greed
fear and frustration
yours and mine

black and white blur to grey
nothing's solid where words are involved
and "you" and "i" are not twins
only cousins
and the endless horizon goes right round the earth
til it ends where you're standing.
when does black stay black, and white stay white?
where is the line between one word and another?
it's a line in the sand, blurry at best,
and it blows away at the lightest breath of air.

how do you quantify meaning?
there is no rule.
no hard and fast one-plus-one makes two
and so the line gets blurred
and i get confused
i see a mud puddle
where another sees a crystal
and vice versa.
so then how can you say what you mean,
when every word means something different
to another person?

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010

clinging

so lost.
so helpless and confused.
swimming through an ocean
of unfamiliar territory.

ashamed.
betrayed and cut open.
all my faults and fears
are violently exposed.

in pain.
sick with these regrets.
playing this game called life
and i'm losing it.

so i cling
to the one who knows me best
to the one who's always here
the rock that holds me safe
i cling, and i pray that you'll be there
that you'll catch me if i fall
that your arms will hold me.

i'm hurt.
uncared-for and neglected.
injured by the words they said
i was left here to bleed.

so scared.
afraid of what might come
i'm wandering alone here
among these dark shadows.

so i cling
to the one who knows me best
to the one who's always here
the rock that holds me safe
i cling, and i pray that you'll be there
that you'll catch me if i fall
that your arms will hold me.

so here i stand
i'm broken and in pain
please cover my shame
heal my pain
keep me near you,
don't ever let me go,
never let me go

and i cling
to the one who knows me best
to the one who's always here
the rock that holds me safe
i cling, and i know that you'll be there
that you'll catch me if i fall
that your arms will hold me.
oh, hold me

© Elizabeth Klassen 2010